Share the Pain and Do Our Part

I have this theme running through my life – a theme of indecision.

My brother John is an imminently sane and successful guy who gives fabulous counsel for just about any situation without ever making you feel he’s telling you what to do. He’s got all the proper language for counseling and, other than for the language of politics, he and I can talk about anything. He has advised me many times to simply make a decision. “You can always make another one.” This is probably the single most critical thing that I have not learned to do. I’ve touched on it already, and probably will again. But I thought I’d mention it in regard to publishing since some of what I’ve written lately has little to do with that, and yet it does in a larger sense. Finding the time you need to write and to pay attention to the less creative details that go along with “the business of writing” is part of the path to publishing. So is having a point of view.

I’m most fond of my new book for it having a real point of view. I’m not messing around. Somewhere along the way I figure I must have made a decision about that. It’s kind of the way I feel about “applying” for jobs. I must have already made a decision that a job is needed and seeking one the sensible thing to do…because I’ve gotten out and applied for them. The only issue I have with the current job I mentioned yesterday is that it requires a bigger decision than those I’ve already made by applying, signing papers for background checks, and getting shots. Most jobs – you can make a decision to take them – and almost as easily make a decision to quit when something else comes along. I’ve registered with temp-agencies for just this reason.

But once a thing gets rolling, I tend to feel it may be “meant to be.” There may be someone out there who needs me; there may be a need in me that will be met too. My heart must have called me to this even if I feel wracked by indecision. The same is true with the book work I’ve been doing.

I wrote Nouk Sanchez the other days – she’s a fellow O Books author. She endorsed “The Given Self” and, besides that, returns my emails in short order. So I asked if she’d share a little about the process she went through with her book and how she managed to come out the other side. She replied again, even though she’s about to take off on a month-long European tour with “Take me to Truth.” She said she spent the first year working 12 hour days researching, writing emails, etc., and then spirit took over and she’s done no more marketing since. She also said, “I can’t explain it.” I believe her. Nouk is off to Europe so I can’t write her back just now to ask her how much, if anything, she thought the 12 hour days over the first year had to do with getting things started. Do we have to do our part, and once we do, “spirit” takes over? Or is all the effort pointless?

Another “spiritual” author I contacted gave it all over to spirit. It wasn’t anything she did. Spirit brought her the contacts and resources she needed.

If you feel you’ve followed the ways of spirit or creativity and you keep getting poorer, you can start to feel that your intuition or inspiration might not be working quite right. On the other hand, you might feel like you’re staying open for the fall, the dark night of the soul of the culture, that you might be in it up to your eyeballs for good reason, or that following your vision is worth it. In “The Given Self” I call this “Standing in the mud fashioning new clay.”

Maybe it’s a refusal to face facts. Maybe it’s seeing where I am as where I’m meant to be. If there are people out there who are certain in these uncertain times, they’re far more gifted than me, or else they’re the ones deluding themselves. Hard to say.

I can only tell you not to listen when those who hear of your challenges tell you that you’re giving way to anger, fear, or uncertainty, or call you cynical or unwise or hopeless. Do not listen to your own inner voice if it tells you to give up and not keep moving toward your dream. These are the times. We can’t help but face the challenges and the conflicts they bring, and this is a good thing. We are turning to face them. We are turning together. We are beginning to see each other face to face where we can’t help but share the pain and do our part.